My relationship with money has evolved over time – and continues to do so. I’ve worked really hard to improve that relationship, actively repairing my credit rating, reading books by Suze Orman, and working with a money sponsor. I laugh at myself, because I do occasionally get into these mental spaces where I think I’ve conquered something or I really have something nailed – and then God, being God, zaps me with a bit of humility and opens my eyes to see that maybe, just MAYBE, I might have more to learn in this visit to the planet.
Case in point: N. and I our friend C. are reading Marianne Williamson’s The Law of Divine Compensation. N. and I have done a lot of work together over the years around money and work – we’ve worked the steps around both – and so we came into this thinking, oh, great, okay, we’ll support each other and our friend C. as we read this book and we’ve already done this so, ho-hum, another stroll around the block…whatever. Blah, blah, blah.
Although the book is ostensibly about one’s relationship with money, it’s also about understanding that the universe compensates us all in many, many ways – not all of which have to do with money. It’s also about owning who we are and what we bring to the universe’s table so that we can then enjoy the gifts of divine compensation – be they financial, emotional, physical, whatever. Well, I have that covered. Of COURSE I do. La, la, la.
Imagine my surprise, then, when N. gave an assignment based on our reading: identify the places in my life where money is still an issue. (Kind of like a fourth step…) I’ve done this before, right? No issues remaining – right? <ahem> Well…I did my “searching and fearless” inventory and came up with…some stuff. Not just little stuff, either – big stuff. Like a bit of reverse snobbism when it comes to folks with lots of money. (In my financial life, I’ve had the experience of having enough to live in a 14-room house with servants – and I’ve been on food stamps. I have NO ROOM to talk about it. Enough said.) Like still occasionally using shopping as therapy (and I use that word loosely). Like throwing the money I do have around in an attempt to feel better about myself. (How’s that working?)
Hmmmm. How about a huge dose of humility, RecoveryGoddess?!? :-P
Having identified these issues I now get to work on them, bringing to bear all of my gifts and claiming the divine compensation that comes from owning my true Self and being who I am in the world. (And one of the blessings of my recovery is that I take direction from N. and C. extremely well and have their support when I tackle something like this.) So: in the last two weeks I’ve gotten two new clients and one new lead. From those clients I have no fewer than SEVEN assignments to complete over the next three or four months or so. (Increased billings…) I’m reviewing my fee schedule. (Increased revenue…) This week I’ll be talking to my insurance agent, my accountant, a financial planner, and an estate attorney. (Increased financial security…) Wow. Talk about moving at the speed of God (as N. puts it).
Life is so good and I am SO blessed. Now how’s that for some divine compensation? ;-)